A Whole New … World? Aladdin Song About Sex, Childhood Effectively Ruined

Caution: I’m about to ruin some childhoods. ARE YOU READY FOR THIS OMGREVELATION? “A Whole New World” from Disney’s Aladdin is totally about foreplay. Don’t believe me? Sing along and really think about the lyrics (and your first time losing your V card or delivering/receiving a handy/blowie) as I break it down: . I can […]

Katy Perry Is Really Just Mariah Carey’s Evil Twin, Bianca

Originally Published: September 8th, 2013; Updated: June 24th, 2014 Hasn’t anybody ever wondered where Katy Perry came from? Ok, sure, it’s kind of explained in her concert documentary Part of Me and Wikipedia, but I think there’s more to this story than meets the eye. To the untrained eye, she came from nowhere in 2007 with […]

Ruby Slippers, Western Stampin’ Ken, and A Whole Lotta #Diva

Originally Published: August 28th, 2013; Updated: June 24th, 2014 I had a MAJOR gaypiphany the other day, like I often do when I’m reminiscing about my childhood. Gayphiphany: How did everyone NOT know I was gay by the time I reached 7? And if they did, WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME? Disclaimer: this is SO stereotypical. […]

Drunk in Love: That Time I Proposed to a Girl for Free Wine

I woke up drunk, which was pretty standard for a Friday morning in college. The night before was the annual Senior Semi-Formal; basically, it was an excuse to get dressed up like horny 18 year olds going to prom and binge-drink at a school-sponsored event somewhere in greater Ithaca. I don’t remember exactly where because, […]

Once Upon a Time in High School: “Catcher in the Rye”

***WARNING: This is the most ridiculous thing you’ll see in your lifetime. Please note that JD Salinger was not harmed during the making of this “film” 10 years ago. Although, had he known about it’s existence, he probably would have come out of hiding briefly to halt it’s production*** OK YOU GUYS. ARE YOU READY […]