Last week I published a piece called “I Am., Part II,” and one of my faithful readers, disappearingwoman (whose awesome blog, The Ravenously Disappearing Woman, you can check out here!) commented with something that struck a chord with me, so much so that I wrote a short little poem inspired by what she said. She wrote: “Tenuous dreams laced with pending, life realities seem unreachable. My advice, from experience, would be to not let your dreams slip away. Even if you have to tie the string of your writing goals around your wrist, like an amusement park balloon, to keep them from drifting –do it!” This not only inspired me, but it made me think about the tangibility of my dreams and goals and really made me think about the present and what is currently in front of me, what’s really tangible.
This is what I wrote:
“Balloons, Tied To Wrists, Filled With Hot Air”
the formation of something new,
Lighter than air, lifting me beyond my limits.
Hot air bubbles rise
in empty spaces above my head;
new dreams imagined.
inflating with every breath, suspended,
Every morning’s routine:
Wake and tie the night’s balloons,
engorged by a fool’s helium,
tight around my wrists and
carry them to the bathroom and corner store,
under dreary fluorescent office lights,
as I search for nourishment in places where I can’t get any
my balloons are tethered to me.
Dreams of grandeur hitched to rainbow strings.
With only a thin layer of rubbery skin, it’s dangerous child’s play.
So I hold on, white-knuckled.
Each morning, a new balloon
appears around my wrist, weighing me down;
Sky has disappeared behind a canopy of color.
Oh, colorful balloons,
tied to my wrists, filled with hot air:
please don’t pop!
I realize now that the best I can do is to stay focused on the present; it’s no use dwelling on the future and what might happen because the future is unknown. All I can do is live in the present, write for the present, and let go of the future. That doesn’t mean I have to let go of my balloons. For now, they’re just tied to my wrists, floating above me, waiting to carry me on my next adventure.