Never giving up. Continuing on, steadfastly. Never forgetting your purpose, your goal, your destiny, even if the odds seem stacked against you.
I insist on achieving my goals. I will be published. I need to start understanding that it might not happen in the timeline I have created for myself because NEWSFLASH, nothing happens according to plan. Ever. How did I think I could set a timeline for being published?
Naivety, that’s how. I know how the publishing industry works. I know it’s a slow, long process. But somehow I’ve fallen into this belief that I need to be published before a particular date.
There’s persistence, and then there’s being completely unrealistic.
From now on, I will be realistically persistent. I will let go of these pre-conceived
notions restrictions of time and let it happen when it happens. Even though the reigns are firmly in my hands, and I refuse to give up, time is in God’s.
A virtue I’ve never possessed. Everything is always done on my time, or it’s not done at all. It’s a terrible way to live, but developing patience might be the hardest skill I’ll ever learn.
And I’m learning.
I’m trying to hunker down with myself and be OK with the waiting game. I’m learning to sit tight as rejections roll in, or throughout horribly deafening silences/lack of agent responses.
It’s a slow progression, a quiet, steady sort of persevervance, a work in progress.
Growing up, I was excited for each new day, for the possibility of discovery. I would dream of finding magic in every day objects: a flower, a lamp, a stuffed animal or toy. I would breathe in pixie dust and glue colorful feathers to my body and jump off the stone wall in my backyard and, for a moment, I truly felt like I was flying. I imagined a world hidden within our own and I would go there in my dreams. I knew it was real because I never stopped believing in the possibilty of dreams.
I still believe in magic.
I still subscribe to the belief that, if I try hard enough, I can turn on the lights with my thoughts, or cast a spell like Harry Potter.
I need to carry that with me through this journey because without possibility, there is nothing.