A special thanks goes out to Teresa Guidice, who helped me get through Day 1 of the Querying Process.
Update: I’m now on Day 16. And it sucks no less now than it did then.
But we’ll get to the STATs and the suckage in uno momento. (See, I’m multilingual! Agents, I’m waiting!)
I’ve been listening to Jason Mraz a lot. Not the sappy Mraz that we know and
love dread hearing on the radio because it’ll most likely be some stank schmaltzy love song, but the Mr. A-Z of 10 years ago. The Waiting for My Rocket to Come Mraz, which is, in my opinion, the quintessential Jason Mraz album.
Why? Well, I’m crazy impatient and I tend to worry a lot and this entire album is pretty much a cure-all for anxiety…the xanax of the music world, if you will; it actually does calm me down.
Take “The Remedy (I Won’t Worry)”, for example. The lyrics to the chorus are literally telling me not to “worry my life away, ehhhh ooooooh oooohhh ohhh ohhhh oooooooohhhhhhh.”
If that’s not enough for you, take my ultimate favorite Mraz song: “Curbside Prophet”:
I’m just a curbside prophet
with my hand in my pocket
and I’m waiting for my rocket to come
Words. To. Live. By.
Right now, this song is my mantra. It’s the ultimate “Dreamer’s” song. It’s a beautiful tale of discovery and wonderment and finally feeling like all the hard work put into making “the dream” happen wasn’t lost, but instead it was totally worth every second. I’m just a writer waiting
impatiently to be discovered.
I think Mraz wrote this song for me. Ya know, back when I was 15 and he was a nobody and we didn’t know each other (still don’t, but I’m totally not bitter or anything), but like Martin Luther King, Jr., HE HAD A DREAM that one day
he I would make it and that ONE DAY his my rocket would finally come in.
Did I just equate my lack-of-a-literary-agent to the American Civil Rights Movement?
Pretend you didn’t read that.
MOVING ON……………..I’d like to discuss my impossible impatience.
Sure, it’s only been 16 days, which isn’t that long of a time, seeing as how some agents have a 4-8 week response time posted on their websites. But 16 days is literally like 16 BAJILLION YEARS in my universe. (Yes, I have my own universe. I would give you directions and charge admission, but it’s too frightening here; definitely not for the faint of heart…) I keep updating my inbox, and when I see nothing, I have a mini-panic attack. Then I start rocking back and forth singing that stoopid “Cups” song by Anna Kendrick from Pitch Perfect. What follows is a session of rolling around my bed in my blankey:
I may be a crazy person.
Or maybe I’m just totally sane AND THE REST OF THE WORLD IS CRAZY?!
MOVING ON AGAIN………………..here’s a breakdown of my STATs thus far in the querying process:
Query Letters Sent: 21
Requests from Agents to see Full Manuscript (MS): 3
Flat-Out Rejections: 3
Rejected After Agent Read Full MS: 1
Agents Still Reviewing Full MS: 2
Still Waiting on: 14 Agents
So, to paraphrase the Greatest Philospher of our time, Effie Trinket:
The odds are ever in my favor.
I’m trying to remember that “No News is Good News,” but sometimes, it’s hard to think so level-headedly when all I want is for an agent to take a chance and believe in me the way I believe in myself and my book.
I have faith.
Afterall, I’m a curbside prophet, with my hand in my pocket, and
impatiently I’m waiting for my rocket to come…